Delectable Dude Thursday - "The Superhero Hottie"

Yes, please!  Well helloo Chris Hemsworth you delicious hunk of man.  Wow, never thought of all the superheroes that I'd crush on it would be Thor.  He's all hot, yummy, man candy.  Did you see those eyes.  That cut in the waist.  Those washboard abs.  Again, yes please!  Sign me up for that fanclub.  And he LOOKS like he smells delicious.  I don't know how he does it, but I'm all in!

Some of the Dumbest Things I've Heard Today

A couple of days ago, one of my customers said that he often has difficulty hiring because of the lack of common sense skills he has encountered in his applicants.  I agreed with him although was a little disbelieving considering that teenagers and 20 somethings can probably spin circles around me using their smartphones.  I need to remind myself that being tech savvy has nothing to do with having plain old common sense.

Example 1:  A guy comes in with a Free Family Fun Night Pass from a local family type game place with race cars and miniature golf. He tells me he needs 7 copies of the pass.  I look at it and look at him and ask him if he worked at that location and he lied so effortlessly.  He responds, with an uh yeah.  I said really?  So, because this item is technically owned by the fun center, making copies of it when he didn't have the right to is fraudulent.  He continued to say that he worked there.  I said ok, let me just call them to verify that it is ok to make the copies of the pass to ensure that we aren't doing anything illegal.  He picked up his pass and walked out.  Dude, I am not as dumb as you look.

Example 2:  Customer comes in and says "I need to fax this paper."  Ok, the fax machine is right here, you would need to place the document face down on the top.  She sticks it face up on the bottom and says, "Like this?"  Big sigh, shakes my head and repeats s-l-o-w-l-y, face down, which means the printed side down and on the tooooppp.  To top it off, she comes in later and has to fax something else and asks me how to do it again and asks if she still has to dial a 1 first since she already dialed a 1 the last time.

Example 3:  A guy comes in to ship his package.  He tells me that when he shipped the last time, he had a shipping label.  This time, it's going to the same place but he doesn't have a label BUT he went to FedEx.com and tracked the package and took a picture with his phone of his computer screen that shows that the original package was delivered and if I can generate a label with that information.  Ummm, no.  You do realize that the tracking number is unique to each package so that those packages can be tracked to ensure they reach their appropriate destinations.  He looks at me like I'm talking German.  Sooo, you can't make a label with that information?  No guy, no I can't.

Luckily for these boobs...one of my favorite if not my favorite customer came in today.  Isaac Billeter, if you ever come across this mention, you were the shining light in my otherwise somewhat abysmal day.  If any of you have had the chance to experience Mr. Billeter, you have been made better for it.  He is the epitome of a modern renaissance man and brings joy to all those he encounters.  He seems to have done some amazing things in his 70+ years of life and definitely exudes happiness, empathy and wisdom.  Thank you Isaac for saving the day!

Save Me From Homophobes!

This past week in Hawaii, a special legislative session convened to rule on the marriage equality issue.  As expected, there has been much discussion of this on my social media feeds lately...which is exciting.  Facebook was blowing up with discussion on the topic itself as well as reactions to testimonies and actions on both sides of the fence.

There shouldn't be any doubt as to my position on marriage equality.  I am not secretive of how I feel about it.  I try to be respectful of those that don't agree with it, try to be sensitive of those that have religious issues with homosexuality...but a person can only take so much ignorance.  When I say ignorance, I mean the obtuseness of people, irrational fears, idiotic comparisons...the list could go on for quite a while.  Although I am not homosexual, I love my mahus (mahu is a Hawaiian word which refers to gay guys - loosely translated) and the mahus love me.  I'm telling you, that if it weren't for the not being sexually attracted to me thing, I would probably end up married to a gay man.  

After seeing some of the testimony that took place and reading many of the feeds in regards to the issue, I have compiled a list of things that I feel need to be addressed...

1.  Gay is here to stay.  It was here before we allowed same sex marriage, it will be here if you don't allow it.  Homosexuality does not solely exist because people of the same sex can marry each other.  Those that are not LGBT friendly, seem to believe that our society will break down because two dudes get married.  Seriously people, you want society to stop its moral decline, STOP DENYING PEOPLE THEIR RIGHTS!  There is a slew of things that would prevent the moral decline...stop letting your daughters dress like whores, stop letting your sons treat women like sexual objects, stop praising Kim Kardashian...shit, the list is endless.

2.  Not everyone is a Christian. Stop living in your fricken' religious bubble.  Just because the bible says something doesn't make it true (holy blasphemy).  For years, Christians have picked and chosen what they follow in the bible.  Shocker that they would use Sodom and Gomorrah references to support their religious anti-gay rants.  Never mind that the bible also bans shellfish, tattoos, adultery.  Frick, adultery was one of the 10 commandments, you know, those two stone tablets written by the finger of God...come on Christians, let's jail adulterers.  Oops, how many of you are down with that?! Devout Muslims and Jews don't consume pork based on their religious beliefs.  You don't see them asking for pork to be banned.  Just because the majority of Americans are some sect of Christianity, doesn't mean you can impose your religious beliefs or followings on those that are not.  Remember the whole religious freedoms thing that we enjoy as Americans.

3. The misguided thought that same-sex marriage threatens traditional marriage.  This one always cracks me up.  DIVORCE threatens traditional marriage.  When has another person's marriage ever affected your own?  Never.  So Bambi and Kiki get married.  Umm...okay.  And?  Exactly!  And so how does that affect you...oh wait I get it.  You are in a loveless marriage with a person that you despise and you plot everyday how you would get out of it.  Seeing Kiki and Bambi living happily together in loving married bliss makes you hate yourself and your life even more therefore forcing you to seek a divorce because you are jealous of the love and life that they share.  Riight, so totally the gays' fault.

4. The absolutely ridiculous notion that allowing same sex marriage would somehow lead to allowing incestual marriages and polygamy.  To break it down...one thing has as much to do with the others as UH football team having a chance to be the National Champions this year.  Additionally religious nuts - polygamy was a practice of Mormons in the 1800's but not solely restricted to them.  You remember the Mormons...jeez, they own a whole state and a couple universities.  And, who gives a shit if a guy is married to 2, 3, 4, 5 women.  If all parties are consenting adults that are knowledgable of the situation....sure beats that douchebag with a wife and kids with 3 girlfriends on the side.  And as far as incest goes, stereotypes indicate that in the deep south, right in the hold of the bible belt, rednecks be marrying their brothers and sisters.  To go a little deeper into history, many royal families practiced incest regularly as a way of keeping the royal bloodlines pure and strong.  Hawaiians were no exception to this belief.  Somehow, God had a way of fixing that whole incest problem...well, seeing as how in-breeding tends to mutate genes and cause sterility and eventually the demise of those royal families and practice.  Seeing as how God had the power and foresight to take care of that issue, and give gay men amazing fashion sense and fabulosity really leads me to believe that God has got his/her shit together!