Delectable Dude Thursday - "Aye Aye Captain Hottie"

I really love Johnny Depp. I loved him in 12 Jump Street, I loved him in Edward Scissorhands, I loved him in the Pirates series. I just love him. He has this smoldering, tortured look on his beautiful face. His face is...beautiful. To call him hot would be an insult (although he is totally hot). He is more. Just looking at him you see that he has all this depth to him. Like his soul is tortured, kind of the look that real artists have. Love me some Johnny and I figure, why not end the year with a bang...ha, I wish!

So Fun, He Had to Pass Out

Christmas Day this year didn't start out typical. I remember as a kid, waking up at the crack of dawn to open all my Christmas presents. So, I got up early on Christmas morning this year, thinking my nephews were going to be over-anxious about opening their presents. Apparently, they all felt sleep was more important. Only my sister and I were up at 5 a.m. Grams - sleeping. Mom - sleeping. 4 nephews (11, 6, 4, 2) - all sleeping. Niece - sleeping. Siblings - sleeping, snoring. My sister and I kind of looked at each other like...well, what are we gonna do. Everybody is still sleeping and show no signs of stirring. Do you know what time the kids finally got up (because I woke them up) - 7:30! What kind of kid wakes up so damn late on Christmas morning? It's Christmas - the presents are like, calling your name. After the joy of all the boys tearing through their presents, and my niece opening one present and being totally over it. (She's one so she gets a pass) We all had a nice Christmas breakfast and needed to get started since we were having a family get-together around lunchish.
Around 11ish, my uncles start showing up. Uncle Shane first with his gf Paula. Then Uncle Sam and Aunty Tori arrive around noon. When I see my Uncle Sam, I notice that the3 middle fingers of his left hand are bandaged (if that's what you could call it). It looked like some cut up gauze taped up with fricken' duct tape. Knowing my uncle, I was not surprised. He had cut his fingers while using a chainsaw to cut up some wood. My uncle, being a guy's guy is attempting to man up and refusing to seek medical attention and is insistent that his "duct tape" job is fine. Luckily, Paula is a RN and so she inspected his fingers. Sure enough, there was dried blood all over his fingers and the cuts were pretty deep. She recommended stitches which he declined so she told him that she would need to clean it. She started scrubbing at it with soap and water first to get out any dirt (I mean, she really scrubbed it). I think my uncle wanted to cry in pain...but you know, gotta man up so he sucked it in. Then was the peroxide. Then she rebandaged his fingers and 5 minutes after that, he was walking behind my cousin and BOOM, he fell to his knees and fell forward onto my cousins back. He passed the frick out! Luckily my cousin was standing right in front of him otherwise he would have needed a Dentist, Regular Doctor and a Plastic Surgeon because he would have ended flat on his face. Me being the astute observer that I am, saw him fall and thought he was joking so continued to sit there and do nothing at first. Then I saw the panic on my cousins face and raced (yes, I raced) over to the phone and dialed 911. My other uncles put him on the sofa where he eventually woke up and insisted he was fine. Hmmm...fine people don't just pass out in the middle of walking to the table. Fine people don't have 3 of the 5 fingers on their left hand bandaged up. Luckily, when he was fully awake, he was not disoriented and Paula thinks he fainted because of the trauma she caused scrubbing his finger. 911 was advised that no ambulance needed.
Many lessons learned on Christmas. Beer really does calm you down after you've been in a panic. If I put my mind to it, I can run pretty fast. Don't ever try to cut wood one-handed using a chainsaw. Manly men faint too. Paula finally got a Domingo man on his knees in front of her. All in all, Christmas pretty much rocked. What would a family Christmas be without a little drama?

Turn Up the Volume

I think I'm still recovering from the being at home for Christmas. No, not hangover kind recover, just that, well, I love my family. I wouldn't trade them for any family in the world, but damn, they can sure tire a person out. First there's my Grandma. She is the calmest, mellowest lady in the world...but she's seriously going deaf. I hate to feel like I'm yelling at her but I am because she can't hear! Lol. I'm not laughing that my grams is going deaf, but sometimes, she sure comes up with creative answers to my questions:

Me: Gram, you want something to drink?
Gram: Oh no, I already washed the dishes in the sink.
Me: (Louder) Gram, I said, do you want something to drink?
Gram: No, I told you, I already washed the dishes in the sink.
Me: (Making motions with my hands of pouring liquid into a cup and drinking and then pointing at her) You want?!
Gram: Hahaha. Oh, no, I'm fine.

Well, you may be laughing now, because you weren't the one there trying to be nice and get you grandma a drink while she was insistent that she had washed all the dishes in the sink. :sigh: Is this my future? Tri-focals and hearing aids. I think my Grams can actually hear and she's just fucking with me because after all, in your old age, there can't be much that entertains you. Making your 30-something year-old granddaughter frazzled is probably high up on the list of etertaining events for the day. Or, it could be bachi for all those times when my Grandpa used to grumble and she chose to tune him out.

If you found this entertaining, that was less than 5 minutes of nearly 72 hours spent with my family. Wait till you hear the rest!

Merry Christmas Nut Huggers!

I am writing this blog on Christmas Eve, contemplating what I need to do today and instead of doing it, I'm still writing this blog. I have presents that still need to be wrapped, work that needs to be done and yet, I write. I have not been real dilligent lately about upkeeping my blog, and I miss it. Whenever something happens, I always say, I have to blog about it and I never do. Now, I can't remember what the hell those things were. I may have to tap the younger brain of my sister to remember the things that I was going to blog about.

I think I'm going to start adding into my blogs some interesting things I saw in the day. For instance, as I was downstairs chugging on my cancer stick, I saw this short japanese guy (who seemed like he had little big-man syndrome, you know the type). He was kind of walking like he had doo doo in his pants but maybe that's just the way he walks. I was noticing from a distance that his pants was looking shiny, then as he got closer, I was like wow, those are some shiny nut huggers he has on. The damn pants was so tight, I think that's why he was walking funny because must have been squeezing all his equipment. I admit, I was busting out laughing. He must not have a girlfriend because if my boyfriend was wearing that, I would tell him, HELLLLL NO. I don't even let him walk out of the house with clothes that doesn't match. I can't be responsible for what he wears when I'm not around.

On that happy thought, wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and if I don't get to blog before then, Happy New Year. Now, time to party.

Clementines v. Tangerines

Today, my office had a very serious discussion on clementines vs. tangerines. There was heated discussion that clementines were a brand of tangerines like the cuties brand. Being the google-queen that I am, I just opted to google it, and you know what, you learn something new everyday.

Clementines and tangerines are members of the mandarin family which is in a class of oranges that are flatters on the top and bottom. Clementines are seedless and are the smallest of the mandarins. They are also very orange and easy to peel. Tangerines are of a lighter orange color and can contain seeds. The flavor is also more tart than a clementine.

How's me, dropping some knowledge! God, I love Google.

The Lone Long Chin Hair

So today, I'm at work and heading towards the elevator in my building when I get stopped by this guy asking me if I knew what floor HBM was on. As he comes closer, I see this loooooong ass hair protruding from under his chin. At first I'm thinking, I need to get my eyes checked. Then he comes closer and I can't help but stare. It was a lone hair coming out of the bottom of his chin that was probably a foot long (I shit you not!) I just checked a ruler to make sure. So he's asking me some questions and I totally spaz out and keep staring at the hair and I don't answer him. I must have said "Huh?" or "What?" because I think he repeated the question. I kept thinking to myself...holy shit, holy shit, that is the longest lone chin hair I've ever seen in my life! I just told the guy, "Oh, I dunno" and forced myself to stop staring at the chin hair and booked it to the elevator. Then I'm cracking up to myself in the elevator because that guy must have thought I was retarded and because the phrase, "Not by the foot-long, lone hair of my chinny chin chin".