Almost a Can of Whoopass

The other night, there was a couple in my neighborhood that were going at it...no pervs, not oofing, they were fighting. It seemed like it happened in rounds. I would hear yelling, than nothing for a couple minutes, then a lot of yelling and then nothing. Actually, I could only hear the girl yelling. I'll recap the conversation for you and I'm :beep:ing out the swear words...because it was ALOT of swearing, even for me. I'm making up what I think the guy was saying because I couldn't hear him at all.

conversation code: duck = fuck

Guy: Uh hon, I gotta tell you something. You know that discoloration on my boto yesterday, uh, well, I think it's an STD.
Girl: What?! And who the duck you was ducking you ducken asshole.
Guy: Babe, no get all nuts. Was long time ago and I was all drunk. Remember that night I went out with Kimo them, when we was beefing and you when sleep at yo madda's house?
Girl: Oh, so what? You go out with Kimo them and we fighting so you think you can duck odda
chicks? Hah you duckah. Who the duck is that ducken bitch. Wot, you still talk to her you ducken asshole? You one ducken mother ducken asshole, you know that?
Guy: Hon, she neva mean nothing to me. Was only that one time, I swear. I love YOU and I don't even know who that chic was. I was all :beep:en bus' that night that I don't know what I was doing.
Girl: (getting even more heated now) Duck you you ducken stupid motha ducken asshole motha duckah! Why you no call that :beep:(she used the c word that you never call a girl that rhymes with hunt) and be with her then hah? You like duck that dirty bitch. Stick your dirty, rotten, discolored :beep: (c word for male body part that rhymes with dock) in that ducken bitch.
Guy: Babe, I'm sorry. I love you. (tries to hug her)
Girl: Get the duck off me. Duck you. Duck you and duck you!

...then the popo came and that was the end of the fighting. I don't think I have what they said verbatim but you get the gist. I had to turn off my bedroom light so they wouldn't see me standing by the window listening. I wasn't the only one, my neighbor told me he did the same thing.

How's us? So damn niele. Too bad, I couldn't help myself, it was almost better than TV. Almost.