Won a Trip to Vegas - Need a Girl to Oof

That is the what I'm advertising on here. Before you get all grossed out, it's not for me. It's for a fricken dumb but nice in a sarcastic way friend. He did actually win a trip to Vegas, lucky bastard. So when I asked him who he was going to take, he said "I dunno, I need a date." I told him to take this girl that is one of his good friends and he said, "I want to take somebody I can hump." I was actually speechless for 2 seconds. Yes, a whole 2 seconds, can you believe it? I had to do a double take and ask him to repeat himself.

I tried my hardest to convince him to take someone who is just a friend. If he takes a humping girl, then he has to stay with that humping girl the WHOLE time. He can't do anything he wants to do because cmon, face it. Guys are a slave to the punani. They really are. I told him that if he went with friends, he could find a humping girl or 2 or 3. **Disclaimer - I do not always promote whorish behavior. I only promote it sometimes.** He wasn't buying my shtick so I told him I'd promote his cause on my blog.

So, if you know any attractive, smart, single women that like kids, please send them to Pauahi Tower downtown at about 11:30 a.m. He'll be taking applicants all week next week in the courtyard area. Just look for the guy with the sign around his neck that says, "Like Oof?"